Meet Tonya Murphy: A Stronghold Ambassador Serving Military Families in Hampton Roads
Tonya Murphy usually has two audiobooks and a paperback going at once, a house full of foster kittens, and one day a week set aside for her community. On a lot of those days, that means a grocery run for a military family.
Tonya is a Stronghold Ambassador and board member who volunteers with military families in Hampton Roads, Virginia. She's a Navy spouse, a mom of three, and a nonprofit strategist who founded Collective Strategy and Impact, where she coaches leaders and helps organizations grow their impact. She brings that same people-first approach to every family she serves.
We asked Tonya about military life, the deliveries she still thinks about, and what she'd tell anyone on the fence about becoming an Ambassador. Here's what she shared, in her own words.
Q&A: Volunteering With Military Families in Hampton Roads
Your military story
My husband and I are high school sweethearts. Yeah, I know, it's a little cheesy, lol. He's in the Navy and we have been here in Hampton Roads for about 2.5 years this round.
Your work
I'm a nonprofit consultant and am lucky to be self-employed, so in control of my schedule. Giving back and supporting my community is important to me, so I tend to set aside one day a week for volunteering and pro-bono work.
Outside of Stronghold
I'm an avid reader, I have been my entire life, I usually have a couple of audiobooks and a physical book all going at the same time. I love being a Navy family because there is usually a beach near us and the beach is my happy place, it brings me peace and calms me. I grew up in Oklahoma, not going to the beach, so this was a discovery that Navy life brought me and I'm so grateful for it. I love exercise and moving my body, there is something powerful and empowering about movement. When I am stressed I turn to movement even more, I love the act of physically moving through feelings, it helps my mind clear and process things so much. My favorite thing in the world though is the heartbeats that live in my house. My husband, our three kids, two dogs, cat, and so, so many foster kittens bring me so much joy and keep me anchored.
Something about you
I went to a math and science boarding school, it's actually where I met my husband, and spent a summer there doing research with NASA.
Finding Stronghold
I heard about Stronghold from Monica when we met in 2023. Stronghold was still growing at the time and the Ambassador program hadn't fully launched yet. When it did in late 2024/early 2025 I immediately asked Monica how I could be a part of it because I saw how incredible the support for our military families is, and I knew that we needed that here in Hampton Roads.
Your community
Hampton Roads is a fairly large area that covers seven cities and nine (I think, don't hold me to that!) different bases. Families here are at times navigating long commute times as they shift between bases or live further out to help with their housing costs. Navy families are also navigating longer and longer deployments right now, which adds more to families' loads.
A delivery that stayed with you
This summer when we were doing our 4th of July summer meals I delivered to one family where mom is gluten free and so hadn't had a good s'more in years. I'm gluten free as well, so I included thin gluten free chocolate chip cookies in her order and told her my hack about using them for s'mores. The look on her face of knowing that not only were her kids getting some fun treats (popsicles, s'mores, etc) but she was as well, made my whole day. And her kids, oh man, they were the best! They wanted me to stay and play for a while. I actually have had a few deliveries where the kids ask me to stay and play. I love when I have the opportunity to hang out because they are just so joyful!
The real time commitment
So...I'm a talker, lol. My initial calls take about ten minutes but that's because inevitably I start a side conversation about something, and I work to schedule deliveries within 2-4 days. The delivery times vary for our area because we cover such a large geographic area, but on average I'd say the families I serve are 30ish minutes from me.
What surprised you
The kids. We think of the adults we get to speak with and know that we're helping, we know they're appreciative, but seeing the kids' faces light up and have them be so incredibly happy to see me...oh man, that's the best.
For someone on the fence
Join us. I love pouring back into our community and supporting them like they've supported me when I've needed it. Even if you have limited time, helping with a pop-up or holiday deliveries is a huge support and so appreciated.
Small moments, big difference
Tonya's answers say a lot about what makes a great Ambassador. It's a ten-minute phone call that turns into a real conversation. It's gluten-free cookies tucked into a grocery order because she knows exactly what that mom has been missing. It's a few extra minutes on the porch when the kids ask her to stay and play.
That's what 21 meals per family member looks like up close: fresh groceries chosen for one household, delivered by someone who took the time to ask.
Thank you, Tonya, for everything you give to Stronghold and to the military families of Hampton Roads.
If you'd love to volunteer with military families at your installation, the next Ambassador application deadline is December 1, 2026. Here's how the application and training work.
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